Is your credit card ready to spread the holiday cheer? Have you made your lists and checked them twice. Yeah, me either. But, in an effort to prepare you for the season of giving—and so you won’t have to—I’ve flipped through the Musician’s F(r)iend Holiday Gift Guide to bring you the Pointy Guitar Xmas Compendium, or “how to spend over 12 grand on just a few instruments.” Here are some of the most amazing things contained in that catalog.

First we have the most expensive electric guitar, Gibson’s 1959 Les Paul Standard which you can pick up for only $5999. Yes, the decimal is in the right place. No, it’s not really from ’59—it’s a “detailed reissue.” And get this: the MSRP (does anyone really pay that?) is $8504! I just checked eBay and you can buy a 2005 Jaguar XJ8L with 61,189 miles (yes, a car) for less than that. Wow.

What would Les himself say?

There’s also a Special Order 1955 Les Paul Custom Wraptail for $4799, MSRP $7137. Good gawd, y’all.

Now the most expensive acoustic guitar, another Gibson product, the Brad Paisley Signature J-45 Acoustic-Electric which checks in at $3999, slightly higher than the $3299 Martin 000-28EC Eric Clapton Signature model. Only 300 produced!

"A big-bodied, round-shouldered dreadnought ..." The guitar, not Brad Paisley.

And what to run those axes through? How about the most expensive head, the Engl Invader E 642. For $2849 you can get the four channel distortion machine—that’s just over $100 per knob!

Pretty.

Given, this is a bit like comparing oranges and lemons, but here are the most expensive effects pedals.

L to R: Maxon AD999 Pro Analog Delay, Eventide PitchFactor, Fulltone TTE Tube Tape Echo

Those list for $399, $499 and $1080.

And here are just a few more items of interest. From Ibanez, the pointiest guitar in the catalog, the XPT700 Xiphos.

The word "angular" comes to mind.

For the electric bass fans, here’s a nice conservative, respectable instrument from Dean, the Custom Zone Electric.

Holy Billy Sheehan's nightmare!

Finally, something no one should go without, knob pointers.

As the bishop said to the actress ...

That should just about do it. Log on to MF’s site, order up one of each and consider your shopping done. Glad I could help.